Book Paralysis
Aug. 15th, 2017 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
glitch25so I'm finding in my reading and desire to read, that I've developed what I'm calling book paralysis. This is not the first time this has happened, but I'm noticing it keenly enough that I thought I might write about it today and see for how many of you this might also apply occasionally.
Currently, I have at least two books on my Kindle that I'm working through.. in reality, I have quite a few others waiting, but I wanted to see about making progress on these two, and one is a classic. I know many of you have read it. But it is a bit long and it is ok, though as I read it, I find that I look at how much more I have to read and for all the crisis and convolutions of the first half of it, it feels odd that I'm only halfway through it. It is dragging in it's own way, like an orgasm that you feel building and building, but stubbornly refuses to pitch itself over the edge. Will I be able to keep up the momentum to get to a point where the book pulls me in deeper on its own and gives me reason to voraciously consume the rest? Or am I going to have to circle and circle around it enduringly hoping that the payoff and pain will be worth this work? It has currently sat unread for weeks now.
Another book I've started but almost immediately stopped reading was a nonfiction book. One that might prove to help me be a better human, but which seems written from the perspective of the already enlightened and not from one like me who is still debating the merits of change much less committed to getting there. I say it is very fluffy, but what I guess I mean by that is that ideology presented in the book is very well regarded, but the text feels very cheerleadery and I find myself turned off by it. We're going to teach you the way of things, but we're going to make sure you drink the koolaid first. That has sat unread one or two chapters in.
So those were the two books on the docket. I suspect I will want to start a third so I keep moving forward on things I want to read, but in the meantime, the feeling of leaving those two books sitting... idle... leaves me not wanting to open my Kindle. It's odd. It is a sense of guilt of abandoning these things. One I want to read (as difficult as the text seems to be making the story), and one I need to read but kinda can't. Instead of removing them from my Kindle, they sit there taunting me, and turning me off the idea of reading altogether. It's.. interesting. I understand the mechanisms at work, and I've finally decided to face it head on and deal with the issue by 86ing both books and picking up the next thing I truly want to read and enjoy. I may trim out the on-deck list as well. I figure those books will always be available to grab later, and in the meantime, I won't feel this weird guilt and aversion to picking up my Kindle.
In their place, I have the first of the Bern Saga series by Hugh Howey that I'm looking forward to starting. It is older than his Silo series and some of the newer stuff yet, but I've heard good things, and I'm looking forward to it.
On the topic of Hugh Howey, if you have not read the Silo series, I highly recommend it. The Wool Omnibus is a great place to start. Also, the Beacon short stories are also delightful.
Currently, I have at least two books on my Kindle that I'm working through.. in reality, I have quite a few others waiting, but I wanted to see about making progress on these two, and one is a classic. I know many of you have read it. But it is a bit long and it is ok, though as I read it, I find that I look at how much more I have to read and for all the crisis and convolutions of the first half of it, it feels odd that I'm only halfway through it. It is dragging in it's own way, like an orgasm that you feel building and building, but stubbornly refuses to pitch itself over the edge. Will I be able to keep up the momentum to get to a point where the book pulls me in deeper on its own and gives me reason to voraciously consume the rest? Or am I going to have to circle and circle around it enduringly hoping that the payoff and pain will be worth this work? It has currently sat unread for weeks now.
Another book I've started but almost immediately stopped reading was a nonfiction book. One that might prove to help me be a better human, but which seems written from the perspective of the already enlightened and not from one like me who is still debating the merits of change much less committed to getting there. I say it is very fluffy, but what I guess I mean by that is that ideology presented in the book is very well regarded, but the text feels very cheerleadery and I find myself turned off by it. We're going to teach you the way of things, but we're going to make sure you drink the koolaid first. That has sat unread one or two chapters in.
So those were the two books on the docket. I suspect I will want to start a third so I keep moving forward on things I want to read, but in the meantime, the feeling of leaving those two books sitting... idle... leaves me not wanting to open my Kindle. It's odd. It is a sense of guilt of abandoning these things. One I want to read (as difficult as the text seems to be making the story), and one I need to read but kinda can't. Instead of removing them from my Kindle, they sit there taunting me, and turning me off the idea of reading altogether. It's.. interesting. I understand the mechanisms at work, and I've finally decided to face it head on and deal with the issue by 86ing both books and picking up the next thing I truly want to read and enjoy. I may trim out the on-deck list as well. I figure those books will always be available to grab later, and in the meantime, I won't feel this weird guilt and aversion to picking up my Kindle.
In their place, I have the first of the Bern Saga series by Hugh Howey that I'm looking forward to starting. It is older than his Silo series and some of the newer stuff yet, but I've heard good things, and I'm looking forward to it.
On the topic of Hugh Howey, if you have not read the Silo series, I highly recommend it. The Wool Omnibus is a great place to start. Also, the Beacon short stories are also delightful.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-08-16 02:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-08-16 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-08-17 08:23 am (UTC)I made it through, in the end, though.
Now there are some Spanish books on it to help me learn that language, which is tough and work and slow going. And guess what? It is not exactly happening...