glitch25: (Default)
[personal profile] glitch25
So I logged into LJ the other day. I scrolled back through my feeds a bit and caught up on what was mostly RSS feeds rather than actual posts. There were a few of you posting. Thank you. :-)

I sat then later with the Post window open for a long time. Cursor blinking. Ready for me.

I realized I've kinda lost my voice.

Not in the sense that I have nothing to say, or that there is nothing going on in my life worth writing about. Far from it, actually. I just realized that because I've gotten out of practice, the organizational process to put thoughts together in a coherent manner is definitely not as easy as it once was.

I have several other Blogger blogs that I use for various things, and those too have sat stagnant for some time.

I keep thinking of things to write. Sometimes epic things that will take several posts to fully encompass. And yet, I seem to lack the ability to pull it together enough to formulate how to make it flow. How to pull it out of my head and present it in a format that will garner understanding.

I keep finding myself with meaningful social commentary that I just can't bring around enough to put out into the wild. Too many distractions in some cases. Not high enough priority in others I think. I'm not making the time to do it either. And when I find time I haven't earmarked for the plethora of other things on the lists, I don't seem to want to find the motivation.

I am blessed to have a rather full and rich life that is affording me opportunities to do things I never dreamed I'd do. It is also affording me time and space to enrich myself and work towards a future where aspects of life are easier and more fulfilling. In the meantime, the day to day has me moving almost constantly and occasionally chaotically.

There was a time when that sort of busy would have driven me nuts. Honestly, I would be more nuts if I had time to do it. :-)

I'm hoping to continue to work towards downtime and Me time that allows me to catch up on some of the things that have been left hanging through all this. Some of my artistry. Other aspects of my creativity. I think in some ways I've traded some aspects of creativity for others, and I've always been more of an AND man than an OR one.

I've been taking a class two nights a week for the last 3 quarters to prepare me for a work-related certification. Classes will be finishing this summer and hopefully, after what will be the long couple months of study for the certification tests, I'll be able to put that behind me and regain some of that time and focus.

Maybe then, after I've managed to satiate my soul for a bit as well as my mind, I can work towards a place where my voice will return. However, the other likely answer is that I just will do it. Nothing comes from thinking about doing it. It only comes from actually doing it. And through my stumbles of doing it, it will improve.

June 2025

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