glitch25: (no spoon)
One of the notions that comes to those of us who are a bit of control freaks is this need to mitigate risk. I sometimes find that I set myself up to deeply desire my plans to go as I wish, and a lot of times, those plans involve other people in some way. And while planning is good, I think me and those like me spend too much time trying to figure out how to deal with what might go wrong or what won't go to plan.

Life is a funny thing. It does what it does. While we can exert a lot of control over things, the more we do, the more we worry about what we can't control. And that worry is brutal.

While I often need reminders of this, I believe that life is best lived when we only nudge it here and there. We can choose our path, and we can walk on it, and we may get where we want to go, but the trip may not be what we expected. There is less stress and worry when we accept that we know we'll achieve our goals. It makes it much easier to tolerate detours, and really, detours are the spice of life. Facing them with grace and poise will feed us. Treating them not as distractions but as adventures will enrich us.

And then we can in turn share the love.
glitch25: (jimmy)
It's interesting how the brain works. Mine anyways.. :-)

There are days that.. for various apparent reasons, I get caught into a weird negative emotional feedback loop, and what started as something not that big a deal can totally derail a whole day. It colors the mood and tone of the remainder of the day, and it is exhausting dealing with it.

And of course one negative thought begets another... And another... and before you know it, you're buried under a big pile of self-created crap.

It isn't impossible to stop the process of this spiral. Though I think the biggest step towards achieving it is recognizing you're caught in it. Being vigilant about self-analyzation and taking the time to stop one's self and say, "Hey... what is the deal with me feeling so frustrated?" Learning to do that in a timely manner seems to help. Letting it go instead and allowing it to manifest in ways that start impacting other people before we get a chance to find that stopping point seem to be less ideal. Because then you've potentially transferred your crap to someone else. And possibly started the turn on their own spiral.

While I do believe everybody should take responsibility and ownership of their own emotions and crap, I still feel it is important to do what we can to treat everyone the best we can. And we can't do that if we're caught under the fog of our own negative emotions. I should know. I've been guilty more times than I care to admit of allowing my inability to find that stopping point create a situation where I choose to be rude and disrespectful to someone. And that's just not cool.

Finding a way to re-spin things can be difficult too. I think the successes there ultimately come from categorically analyzing my reasonings for my feelings. Deciding where the cutoff lay for why I should or shouldn't feel negatively, and then peeling back the emotion itself until either I realize I'm not justified for it, or, in the case where I might be, formulating a level-headed plan that gives me the opportunity to re-direct the negative energy into something more productive, and hopefully let go of the bulk of the negativity.

Even just going through that process, where I might have a pre-conceived idea of how things should go, I can dig deeper and determine what my motivations are for my desired actions, and ensure that they maintain my best interests and are not just an emotional response to my less-than-ideal state of mind.

By staying on top of my feelings and actions, I have greater opportunities for continuing the loving relationships I have with those around me.. And ultimately, with myself. It isn't always easy. But it is definitely worth it.

September 2017

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